Assertive, Not Aggressive

Christian Assertiveness Rooted in Charity

There are Catholics who often say, “We have to defend the faith.” It’s true, we should! But it is a mindset that is incomplete. That’s because the word “defend” invokes imagery of us being backed into a corner, only speaking up when there is a perceived attack on our beliefs. We should challenge that notion.

Scripture says in 1 Peter 3:15, “…but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…”

Notice here that St. Peter doesn’t say, “Only speak when attacked.” He is actually assuming something else: that our joy, hope, and life in Christ is already visible, and people see it; that noticing this in our lives, people ask us about it. But that isn’t all.

Most people understand the need to be ready to make a defense but stop there. In our contemporary culture, however, there is a need for Christians to be assertive, not merely ready to make a defense. This appears to make many uncomfortable because there seems to be a misunderstanding that being assertive with one’s faith is somehow being aggressive.

So it’s important to define terms. Assertive means to make a clear, confident, and respectful proclamation of truth that is rooted in charity, seeking the good of the other. In contrast aggressive means hostile, coercive, or manipulative behavior that tries to overpower or shame another person.

Christians are not called to be aggressive. This is counter to Christian charity. But we absolutely should be assertive.

The problem is that over time, especially in the past century, Catholics have gotten used to living defensively, waiting for others to question us. We even sometimes hide our faith, speaking only when provoked. But that’s not what the Gospel encourages us to do.

Jesus doesn’t say, “Stay quiet until someone challenges you.” Instead, he said “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19).

You don’t “go” by waiting for someone to begin attacking what you believe. You “go” because Truth is good, and Truth must be shared.

Saint Paul didn’t wait around hoping someone would insult Christianity before proclaiming the Good News. In Acts 17 we see that he initiated the conversation. This led to him being taken to the Areopagus. He asserted the truth to a culture that had no previous idea of what he was talking about.

Look at what he wrote in 1 Corinthians 9:16, “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!” He wrote to St. Timothy “…preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching” (2 Timothy 4:2). Notice the phrase ‘in season and out of season’ as well as the command to ‘exhort’, meaning to emphatically urge someone to do something. This is an act that requires being assertive.

Place this within the mindset laid out by Jesus when he said “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others…” (Matthew 5:14-16). Light doesn’t wait for darkness to attack it. Light reveals itself.

Our Church teaches as much. Catechism 1816 states: “The disciple of Christ must not only keep the faith and live on it, but also profess it, confidently bear witness to it, and spread it”. It’s clear that we are to profess and spread our faith, and confidently bear witness to it. That’s being assertive.

And this is meant for all the baptized. CCC 905 teaches the laity are called to evangelize, to proclaim “Christ by word and the testimony of life.” It doesn’t say only when challenged, but clearly means all the time.

In being “witnesses of the Gospel” there is an obligation that comes with that, and it is a “transmission of the faith in words and deeds. Witness is an act of justice that establishes the truth or makes it known.” (CCC 2472) Again, a call to be assertive.

Our Confirmation “gives us a special strength of the Holy Spirit to spread and defend the faith by word and action as true witnesses of Christ, to confess the name of Christ boldly, and never to be ashamed of the Cross.” (CCC 1303) What’s interesting in this paragraph is the order of the words “spread” before “defend”, prioritizing the active sharing of the faith over just protecting it.

The early Church has many examples of an assertive faith. Martyrs such as St. Ignatius of Antioch didn’t merely explain their faith but encouraged others to boldly live and proclaim the Gospel. He did so by writing letters on his way to his martyrdom in the Colosseum, going as far as to urging the Romans not to intervene in his own execution. Tertullian wrote his Apologeticus not only to defend Christianity but to proclaim the Truth to a pagan Rome. He wrote assertively: “…we urge that your hatred to the name of Christian is unjust.” (Apologeticus, Chapter 1)

In the face of severe persecution, the early Church didn’t shrink back or simply contend with defending its faith; it became assertive. The Gospel is Good News, not fragile news.

Still, some among us today would think being assertive is being confrontational. No. Assertiveness is not hostility. Assertiveness is clarity in charity. Aggression forces while assertiveness proclaims. Charity makes it inviting. That’s why St. Peter mentioned “gentleness and reverence”. Correct doctrine can be assertive, especially in a hostile culture, without becoming aggressive. In fact, it must be so, for the moment it becomes aggressive it is no longer Christian.

Perhaps there might be times where waiting to be challenged and taking on a more defensive posture is prudent. A family debate about religion at Thanksgiving could be such a time. But if we make that the norm, we are letting those who oppose us set the terms. We would only speak when those who attack us decide to speak against us. We would then miss opportunities to evangelize the way the Apostles and martyrs did.

A defensive Christianity is one that focuses only on survival. An assertive Christianity is one that has a clear mission.

If we truly believe that we possess the fullness of truth, why would we only speak when attacked for our faith? If we live as witnesses to the Gospel, why would we hide our hope and joy? Should we not be eager to share it, inviting others to share in the hope and joy that is a Life in Christ?

St. Peter is absolutely correct that we must be ready to make a defense. But we cannot stop there. We must live our faith boldly, not in hiding. The Gospel is not fragile, and our faith shouldn’t be either. Clearly, the Apostles and martyrs demonstrated that the Gospel was not fragile nor was it meant to be hidden. Salvation is for all, and our normative attitude should be one that is assertive. Proclaim Christ, doing so with gentleness, reverence, and joy, asserting the truth because we love the One who is Truth.